My Heart Hurts for Her

This morning I woke up and like usual I checked my facebook account :) I am not friends with my students on facebook while I am their teacher because it isn't very professional. I had a message from a student (which you can do even if you aren't friends). This is how it read (name is changed).

Mrs. -
I really need to talk to you... I'm not doing too great...everything isn't going as planned. Like when I moved up here it was supposed to be better for me but it just seems to be tearing me apart even more than before....You know how I told you how I used to cut (her wrists) .... well I did it again. And i don't want anyone else to find out because I don't feel like going to my stupid therapist again. She didn't help out any. I just wanted to talk to you... I would talk to my mom or sister about it but they would just yell at me and tell me how stupid I am for doing it. I'm just ready to get out of this school, I don't think this many people have ever hated me in my life. At my old school I never got picked on or talked about. But here everything seems to be opposite. - Tara

The moment I read the message I felt anxious about this girl. She moved to my school in January and has quickly become one of my favorite students. She is sweet and hardworking with a great sense of humor and is easy to relate to. There are many days when she has stood up for me when her classmates have been cruel. I quickly messaged back to urge her to come to school and we would talk. On my ride to school I felt sick because I was worried about her. I immediately began to beg God to give me wisdom in how to handle the situation. I prayed specifically for Tara and for me to have the right words to say.

I was able to talk to Tara during 3rd period.. Luckily a teacher covered my class and I got her out of her class. I could tell that she had been crying and she just looked upset. I sat her down and basically told her that I was there to listen, we would work things out and there was hope. I told her some of my personal struggles with depression so that she would feel comfortable being so open with me. I told her I felt honored that she would talk to me about these things. Then I told her to talk - I was here to listen. I asked a few questions along the way but this is what she basically told me.

Her parents divorced about 2 years ago. Before they divorced she would sit in her bedroom and plug her ears to drown out their yelling. When her mom left her dad she was dropped off at a church so that she would be safe.

After their divorced she lived with her mom and they fought often. This is when she began cutting her wrists. Her mom was frustrated with her and so she shipped her off to her dad's (who now lived in Georgia). Things were even worse at her dad's. He was a drug user and so was her sister who was also living there. Her sister became pregnant by a young man and when she was almost 9 months pregnant and sick she encouraged Tara to hang out with the father to keep him occupied. So her sister's boyfriend and "baby daddy" raped Tara. As I sat at the table and she told me this through tears (she could barely choke it out) I began crying and just felt so overwhelmed with grief for this young lady. I just cried to her "I'm so sorry this happened. How awful how awful."

Child protective services then pulled her out of her dad's because he was physically abusing her and constantly yelling. She moved back with her mom and began using marijuana. She came to the town I teach in to visit her sister over Christmas break. Her mom called and said ... stay there. I'm sick of you. You mean NOTHING to me. That is how she got to this school, in my classroom. She is still struggling with issues between her parents. Her mom tells her often that she is worthless and a "mistake". Poor Tara feels so unwanted.

We had to go back to class but I am meeting her for lunch tomorrow. We are going to come up with some things to look forward to and some hope. This girl needs hope. She needs to know that her life is not going to always be like this. If you're reading this I invite you to pray for Tara. I know that's not her real name but pray for her and her peace and that I would be wise enough to lead her through this valley.

Teach