Tough Tuesday

Today was a rough day... so rough I am questioning my choice of career. Is this really how I want to spend my time...crying every day?? I know that most people say the first year of teaching is difficult but at my school it is unreal. It seems like every time someone tries to give me advice it only makes more work for me and makes me feel even more overwhelmed and inadequate. After my time student teaching and substituting I got some amazing reviews I think maybe I was over-confident in myself. Pardon my language but maybe I really do just suck as a teacher. Right now I have one class of 8th graders who feel like the other 8th grade class gets treated better than they do. One of my 8th grade classes is of higher ability than the other. The higher ability class thinks the other class gets to "party" all the time in my class. I have no idea what has led them to believe this because I do exactly the same thing with both classes. I do admit that the 2nd class is usually better behaved and if a class behaves well than they gain privileges. The higher ability class has been very rude and disrespectful to me and they hurt my feelings on a daily basis. I know I need to grow thicker skin. Sigh... I need more sleep.

Apologies for my Absence

Hello my few followers,



I'm sorry I didn't write very much in the last few weeks. Last week it was spring break and the week before it was the week before and just absolute insanity. On Tuesday I went to a professional development conference and left my students to a substitute. Now my students have run off MANY substitutes over the last few years so I am always having a panic attack when I must leave them. The last time I had a sub I left a movie for the students to watch and they were pretty well behaved but I feel like I shouldn't have to show a movie every time I am gone. My students should be able to behave with a sub while doing classwork. So I left a lesson and gave a lecture on the consequences of misbehaving for a substitute. In January when I had a sub I came back and had over 10 detentions because my students were so bad! This time I only had 2 detentions so at least I see some kind of improvement.

Spring break was such a nice time of relaxing and I honestly barely thought about school. I work so hard during the time when school is in session that when I have breaks I try not to work on too much school work. I don't want to get too burned out.

On the Friday before break I had lunch and a talk with Betty (remember...she is the student I mentor). We had a good lunch and I bought her a candy bar again. She said "Mrs. - you know you do not have to buy me this." I told her I knew that but I wanted to do something nice for her. She was talking to me about how her dad wants her to visit him over spring break but she doesn't want to go. Now remember, Betty's dad tried to commit suicide with Betty at his house. She was the one to find him after he shot himself in the face. I don't blame her for not wanting to go over there. She asked me for advice but I didn't know what to tell her so I just tried my best. I'm not a social worker and I honestly have no training with those situations but I can be there for her and listen. Anyway, Betty was also pulling on her tank top because it was ripped all along the bottom. She said that she asked her mom for a new one to wear under shirts and it was 5 dollars at Wal-mart but her mom said she couldn't afford it. It broke my heart. I also found out a little bit more about Betty's living situation. She and her mom live in town over a tanning salon. I'm not sure if they pay rent or how they are able to live there. Her mom does not have a job or a car. I asked Betty how they got places and she said they didn't go anywhere. I don't understand how an unemployed mother of 2 can afford to live or properly care for her children. If she can't even afford a 5 dollar tank top from wal-mart it doesn't seem like it's a great place for her children. So, my husband and I went shopping a few times over spring break and I ended up buying Betty a tank top. I just couldn't handle knowing that she had to wear old, ripped clothes. I can afford to spend 8 dollars for someone who has so little. When I gave it to her today she said, "Mrs. - you didn't have to get this for me." She is so thankful and unselfish. She came in 2 more times to give me a hug and the day isn't even over.

The rest of my first Monday back has been pretty awful and the thought crossed my mind to just start running and not look back. One of my 8th grade classes is extremely rude and disrespectful. They complain about me as a teacher and say they "hate me." A student in the class even said "Why are you guys so mean to Mrs. -?" She didn't know I overheard her as this and I didn't hear the students' responses. When lunch started I felt like I was going to cry. How come these students are so hard to please? They were complaining about an assignment and the assignment was copying down definitions from the dictionary and using words in sentences. I'm not asking too much of them yet they act like 5th graders. Today I tried using the approach of ignoring them instead of yelling or getting mad. That seems to do no good. It's hard though when I can feel my temper start to rise and my face gets flushed and I start to sweat (it just so happens I forgot deodorant today too).

We'll see what the rest of the day brings...

xo,
Teach

Glass

Well it's lunchtime and I thought I would give a quick summary of my day thus far.

It's library day so we have lots of silent reading time. It's nice for it to be quiet! Also, this is spirit week for the SADD group. Today is mix and match day so I am wearing plaid, polka dots and stripes!

Just as my 8th graders were leaving for lunch one of them "set" his head against the window and it broke. I didn't see him near the window but I did hear his head hit the glass. It didn't sound like he just "set" his head against it. I'm embarrassed because this makes me look like a bad teacher and like I can't keep control of my class. Sometimes it is the case but really this class does whatever they want.

Well I should go,
Teach

2 hour delay

Wow, it's Friday and I can really reflect and unwind from probably one of the craziest weeks of the entire year. Yet again I wish I would have started this back on August 13th! This morning I got a phone call from my principal saying we had a 2 hour delay due to fog. It was such a blessing and an answer to prayer. God really knew I needed a little extra sleep and a shortened day.

This was actually a pretty uneventful day. The kids took a vocabulary quiz and we did an assignment on Jesse Jackson's famous speech. The highlight of my day though was having lunch with Betty. She came into my class 2 times before lunch for no particular reason :) I got her a candy bar this morning. As I stopped at the gas station I asked my husband, "what kind of candy are girls eating these days!" He thought that was hilarious. She thanked me politely and we talked about boys and girl stuff!

I didn't get hung up on today which was great! On my way home from school I was on a back country road when I saw three of my 8th grade girl students walking. They had gotten dropped off at the wrong spot but they were at least 3 miles from one of their houses. My husband and I ended up driving them to the girls' house. They were all giggly and kept saying "Mrs. your car is so clean". I know I'm not supposed to drive students but I wasn't going to leave them out in the middle of the country to walk a few miles when I could take them there in 2 minutes. I'm looking forward to a weekend of sleep and also putting together a book report assignment and a unit on public speaking. Any ideas are welcome!

Teach

Thick Skinned

Quick post, just to update you on today. It seems like something new happens each day, there is never a dull moment.

First a funny story or two and then on to the tough stuff. My colleague and good friend, we'll call her Mrs. J, had a 6th grader ask her today if "babies were pooped out or came out where you pee?" She had to explain that there is a third hole. Glad it wasn't me! We had a good laugh about that though.

Also, one of my 7th grade girls said "Mrs. are you having a bad hair day?" I said, "Does it look like I'm having a bad hair day?" She responded with a sympathetic "Yes". Awesome! Why thank you so much for the boost of self-esteem. Honestly though, it just made me laugh about how blunt these kids can be. I don't point out their acne or awkward, developing bodies now do I?

Now, my day seemed like it was pretty low-key minus one situation. The day before a vocabulary quiz I like to play a spelling game called "sparkle". The students get into it and it helps with their spelling. One of my 8th grade classes was playing and a boy, we'll call him Joe, spelled a word wrong. He turned a shoved another boy. I gave him a detention. A 13 year old should know better than to use two hands to shove another student in class.

I called Joe's parents and left a message letting them know the situation and that he had a detention and they could call me if they needed to talk. After school I get a phone call from the rents. The father proceeds to tell me that Joe did nothing wrong and that he shouldn't get punished. Once I tell him that I'm sticking to my guns and Joe should not shove students in class he gets angrier and claims that he is going to give Joe his permission to "kick their a**". I responded with, "Joe will have to deal with those consequences then." The dad yelled a few cuss words at me and told me I "don't listen to s**t" and then hung up. I stayed very calm, courteous, and professional throughout the phone call but when he yelled those things at me the tears started to flow. This was the first time I have cried this year in front of colleagues. I always save it for the drive home or in my classroom but I couldn't hold it in this time. They were very supportive and said they had my back. Mrs. J gave me a big hug.

This isn't the first time that Joe's parents have argued against my discipline of Joe. Joe is a fairly intelligent kid, an only child, but a huge jerk. Joe believes he does nothing wrong and Joe is always right. No wonder this kid is this way, his parents believe he's an angel. I don't have any children yet but how can parents blatantly disrespect a teacher while sticking up for their son SHOVING another child? I'm developing thicker skin than I ever thought I would have. I've had 2 parents hang up on me this week and it's not even Friday yet.

Whew,
Teach

Ray of Sunshine

It's introspective Wednesday and I'm in a thinking mood. Today was such an interesting and emotionally taxing day - as is common as a teacher. Let me tell you first about my frustrations that left a raincloud over my head.

My students have been unusually rambunctious lately which is saying a lot if you knew the discipline issues I have. Sometimes I feel like I talk and all the students hear me say is... "blah, blah, blah". There are other times when I say "quiet down" about a million times a day and they seem to think I'm saying "please get louder and be disrespectful". Days such as today drain my patience which I am not known for to begin with. My 6th hour class proceeded to tell my that my class is ... "really boring" which is frustrating because I try to be dynamic and interactive and make the class interesting. Those things are annoyances but what really made me down was the fact that I am quite sure that 2 of my students were either hungover or high today. They both had red-rimmed, runny eyes and were complaining of upset stomachs and vomiting. These girls are not known for being "good" and the whole situation seems fishy. Anyway, I came home with a headache and feeling ready to cry. I called my parents and was telling my dad a story about a situation today and realized that it was my ray of sunshine and was really what I needed to focus on.

Whew... I'll try to explain this quickly. I have a student who we'll call Betty. I had her at the beginning of the year but she was switched into another English class so I don't have her during the school day. Last week the other English teacher said she had found out that Betty had cut her wrists. When this teacher asked Betty if she had anyone she could talk to she mentioned me. We were never super close but she must have felt some sort of connection. So I asked this student to have lunch with me to chat. It was a good lunch and we get along quite well. Since then Betty has been coming in my room often and today she mentioned that "lunch was really fun - we should do it again". We're eating together again on Friday! The students got their report cards today and Betty had all C's and A's and has raised her grades up from D's. What makes this all so remarkable is Betty's background. She is in 7th grade and her parents are divorced. Both are drug addicts. This past summer Betty's father attempted suicide by shooting himself in the face while Betty was outside. She was the one who had to witness the chaos after the shooting. Since Betty cut her wrists and the school had to report it, child protective services has gotten involved. Yesterday Betty's mom failed her drug test so Betty may now have to go live with her grandparents - which is probably a good thing. Since the school year started Betty's mom was dating a man who said inappropriate things to Betty and looked down her shirt. Hopefully he didn't do more. At the end of the day today Betty stopped in my room to say goodbye and there was a student in the hall struggling with his locker. This student is autistic and mocked incessantly by other students. I hear Betty in the hall say "do you need help with your locker?" This sweet 13 year old who has been through tremendous pain and heartache in her short years was able to think of someone else, someone....unpopular. I wish I could take Betty home and let her live in my 2nd bedroom. She has such potential and to think that I could help her in some small way makes me feel like all the struggles are worth it if I can help this one child.

Later,
Teach

The First One

I wanted to make title of my posts a different piece of literature that related to the topic but really, I am an educator and do I have time to do this? NO. Therefore, I decided not to make it harder on myself so I will be free to write as often as I feel led and have a sane moment to do so.

Due to the sensitive nature of some of my posts and the fact that I am not a tenured teacher and may be applying for other teaching jobs I have decided to remain anonymous. I appreciate your support and comments but please respect my anonymity and refrain from using my name! You can think of me as "teach" and let me tell you a little about myself and my classroom.

I teach in a rural town that is plagued with extreme poverty. The majority of my students are on reduced lunch and many have free lunch AND breakfast. I graduated from college in December of 2008 and began this job in August of 2009. I wish I would have started this blog earlier because there have been so many crazy stories I could share but it has seemed barely possible to stay afloat in this sea of planning, grading, and disciplining students.

The school I teach at is a Title 1 school which means many of the students are below grade level and many struggle to learn. The nice thing about teaching in such a rural town is my class sizes. The largest class I have is 19 students but even that seems like a lot to handle with the behavior of the kids. I teach one class of 7th graders and 2 classes of 8th graders. As hopefully obvious by my blog title, I am a Language Arts teacher.

I'm trying not to overload you with too much information (like I do with my students) so I will say goodbye for now. But first, my primary reason for writing this blog... to share annoying, funny, incomprehensible stories and to relieve myself from the frustration of the job. Hence, a story for you.

Yesterday I had to call a student's mother to let her know about a detention the student received. I had talked to this mother before and knew she was not very supportive but was also not difficult to deal with. I called and let her know of the student's misbehavior and the fact that he needed to work on his responsibility. As I finished telling her her son had a Tuesday detention I heard a click and dial tone. She either hung up on me or was disconnected. My husband thinks I'm spreading rumors but I truly believe she hung up on me. I stood there with my mouth hanging open. I suppose this may be the first time I am hung up on by a parent and may not be the last - I'll pray it is!

Ciao,
Teach