Ray of Sunshine

It's introspective Wednesday and I'm in a thinking mood. Today was such an interesting and emotionally taxing day - as is common as a teacher. Let me tell you first about my frustrations that left a raincloud over my head.

My students have been unusually rambunctious lately which is saying a lot if you knew the discipline issues I have. Sometimes I feel like I talk and all the students hear me say is... "blah, blah, blah". There are other times when I say "quiet down" about a million times a day and they seem to think I'm saying "please get louder and be disrespectful". Days such as today drain my patience which I am not known for to begin with. My 6th hour class proceeded to tell my that my class is ... "really boring" which is frustrating because I try to be dynamic and interactive and make the class interesting. Those things are annoyances but what really made me down was the fact that I am quite sure that 2 of my students were either hungover or high today. They both had red-rimmed, runny eyes and were complaining of upset stomachs and vomiting. These girls are not known for being "good" and the whole situation seems fishy. Anyway, I came home with a headache and feeling ready to cry. I called my parents and was telling my dad a story about a situation today and realized that it was my ray of sunshine and was really what I needed to focus on.

Whew... I'll try to explain this quickly. I have a student who we'll call Betty. I had her at the beginning of the year but she was switched into another English class so I don't have her during the school day. Last week the other English teacher said she had found out that Betty had cut her wrists. When this teacher asked Betty if she had anyone she could talk to she mentioned me. We were never super close but she must have felt some sort of connection. So I asked this student to have lunch with me to chat. It was a good lunch and we get along quite well. Since then Betty has been coming in my room often and today she mentioned that "lunch was really fun - we should do it again". We're eating together again on Friday! The students got their report cards today and Betty had all C's and A's and has raised her grades up from D's. What makes this all so remarkable is Betty's background. She is in 7th grade and her parents are divorced. Both are drug addicts. This past summer Betty's father attempted suicide by shooting himself in the face while Betty was outside. She was the one who had to witness the chaos after the shooting. Since Betty cut her wrists and the school had to report it, child protective services has gotten involved. Yesterday Betty's mom failed her drug test so Betty may now have to go live with her grandparents - which is probably a good thing. Since the school year started Betty's mom was dating a man who said inappropriate things to Betty and looked down her shirt. Hopefully he didn't do more. At the end of the day today Betty stopped in my room to say goodbye and there was a student in the hall struggling with his locker. This student is autistic and mocked incessantly by other students. I hear Betty in the hall say "do you need help with your locker?" This sweet 13 year old who has been through tremendous pain and heartache in her short years was able to think of someone else, someone....unpopular. I wish I could take Betty home and let her live in my 2nd bedroom. She has such potential and to think that I could help her in some small way makes me feel like all the struggles are worth it if I can help this one child.

Later,
Teach